Suicides in the Slavic Christian community

Dear Slavic “Christian” churches,

When sexual and physical trauma survivors attempt suicide because they believe that dying is better than living, we failed them in everything the church should stand for: healing, protection, comfort, hope, truth, and justice…

Having worked in a psychiatric hospital as well as seeing these issues take place in my private practice makes me ask, “How did we let this happen?!”

What does it take for survivors to think that death is their best option when they go to church, have “Christian” parents, and pray?

The answer is simple: when your child or member of your church tells you about the pain that they experienced, we tell them, “You asked to get molested/raped by the clothes you wore to соблазнить that boy/deacon; you provoked your spouse to slap you (repeatedly); you’re making things up, they would NEVER do something like that, after all, they serve at church….”

I thought something would change after the death of sexual/emotional/physical abuse victims who took their own lives in our community because of these very reasons, but since these cases are still coming into my office, I could see that that’s not the case.

Survivors are still gaslit, silenced, and manipulated into not reporting their abuse to authorities to “protect the peace” and the reputation of their church and family.

These survivors are made to feel like the ones at fault for speaking up for the [repeated] abuse.

As long as saving face is more important in my community than healing, these problems will continue to happen.

As long as people with money continue to be the puppeteers in our churches, sexual and physical abuse will continue to happen.

As long as victims are gaslit, they will doubt themselves and think they’re crazy for speaking up about their experiences.

I wonder what it will take for something to change in my Slavic “Christian” community at this point.

Sadly, it may cost more lives through successful suicide attempts.

How many more?

How many more teens, parents, and even older individuals must take their own lives because they believed the lies that satan told them about their worth?

I’ve known a case about a young woman whose liver gave out because she drank her sexual abuse away at the hands of a deacon. 

I heard of a young mother who was beaten to death and suffered a brain anuyerism and the church looked the other way, taking the husband's side. 

I’ve known a vibrant young man who overdosed because his dad said, “Don’t tell anyone your problems: therapy and spiritual deliverance of your inner turmoil doesn’t work.”

I’ve known men my father's age attempt and complete suicide despite having a wife, children, and grandchildren because of the mental battles they had that they didn’t receive help and healing for. 

This is all happening in the church. 

Every single one of these individuals was raised in a Christian home. 

What do we say in these cases? 

What could we have done to change their stories and save their lives?