Slavic Christian spouses, what vows did you make on your wedding day?

Husbands and wives, what vows did you make on your wedding day?

“I, __________

do take you, __________ ;

to be my wedded wife/husband,

in the holy estate of marriage,

To have and to hold

from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

I will love you and cherish you,

all the days of my life,

in the presence of God and these loved ones,

I give you this promise….”

Have you kept your promises?

Did your marriage turn out the way you wanted it?

If it has, what did you do to make it so?

If it didn’t go as planned, what lessons did you learn, and what actions have you taken to create change in your relationship?

These questions are essential to ask regularly, because the worst thing that can happen to a marriage is to lose the love that brought you to the altar in the first place.

How does that happen?

Disconnection, lack of communication, lack of time invested into each other compared to when you were engaged/newly married, unfaithfulness, secrets, addictions, etc.

Think about this: you invested so much time with this one person that you thought, “I’ll put a ring on it instead of committing to anyone else.” That’s a big deal.

Out of 4.5 billion people in the world of the opposite gender, you chose this ONE to commit to ‘til death do you part.

Over the years, you chose to let that love grow cold by neglecting to nurture it.

The good news is, it’s never too late to start kindling the fire of returning to your first love.

The key is to START.

Start today: kind words and actions.

Start now: celebrate what your spouse does well instead of noticing what they don’t.

Give it time and lots of practice, and watch what will happen in a week, a month, and a year.

Your best marriage is just around the corner.

If you’re discouraged and feel hopeless about your relationship, reach out to me, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been married for 10.5 years to an incredible spouse I love doing life with!

We’ve been where you are in the first 5 years of our marriage: struggling, disconnected, wounded, bitter, unforgiving, etc–and if God can heal our hearts through therapy, He can do the same with you and in your marriage. Just like our therapist taught us how to turn towards each other, I will teach you to do the same with your loved one. 

I can help you have the spice in and out of the bedroom if you and your spouse are willing to put in the work–all you and your spouse have to do is decide that your marriage is worth fighting for, show up to sessions, do homework in between to practice the skills, and watch the transformation take place. Hope is available, I’m here whenever you’re ready to start healing and connecting.