Slavic Christian self care

Dear Slavic Christian, 

What if in being taught to take care of everyone around you but not yourself or the loved ones at home, you neglected your greatest possessions?

I’m seeing a trend in my work: individuals are focusing on saving the world while neglecting their own needs, feelings, and families.

Ministry leaders can relate.

Spouses can relate.

Even children can relate as they take care of their parents and neglect their own desires for marriage and pursuing their calling.

My community is really good about breeding people who will serve at home, in church, or even at work without expressing a desire to care for their own needs. This leads to burnout, preventable illnesses, resentment of the task, isolation, and even depression.

This is also the case with couples who take care of their children excessively and neglect their own marriages and self-care.

We look at these “selfless and generous” individuals and praise them without recognizing the cost.

Their children don’t have present parents.

Their bodies are experiencing fatigue.

But at least they’re praised in public.

There needs to be a balance.

If you’ll give your time to church 5 days a week, check in with your spouse and see how they’re doing without you.

If they ask you to pull back from ministry to invest in your marriage and family, please listen.

If your children are taking care of you physically or financially, give them the freedom to pursue their own hobbies and friends so you won’t have to take care of them later (because they never launched due to caring for you).

If your children are engaging in attention-seeking behaviors because you’re absent, pull back from ministry at your discretion and take care of their needs.

Please use wisdom when caring for yourself and your family. There are some things you’ll never take back-such as family time and your health…

I once heard an example of life being like juggling several balls. Some are made of glass, and some are made of rubber. The glass ones represent precious things such as your marriage, children, faith, etc. When neglected or dropped, these balls will break and may never be rebuilt again. On the other hand, there are some rubber balls, such as work or ministry, that can be picked up again when dropped. Notice the condition of the balls you’re “juggling” and which ones you may have dropped. 

How is your faith, spouse, mental health, or children doing?

Are they thriving because you’re daily investing in them, or have you “dropped” them, and they are wounded, alone, in the world, withdrawn, or have they left the home or relationship because of your neglect?

What can you do to repair and rebuild what was lost?

Are you willing to engage in the repairing process with your loved ones to have the healthy family that God expects you to have when He gave them to you to steward for His glory?

What is the cost of leaving things as they are?

I hope you consider these questions and work to mend what’s broken and nurture what is thriving even more.