Slavic Christian marriages are struggling

Dear Slavic Christian couples, when you cheat on, lie, hit, disrespect, curse, neglect, and/or attack your spouse, you do all the above to yourself because God made you one in Him. 

When my clients tell stories about their spouses mistreating them and still calling themselves “Christians,” my heart breaks.

When they say their spouse does all the above and yet is “kind to their children and others,” my heart breaks.

When they say they do all the above and still “serve in ministry,” my heart breaks.

Why?

Because it’s impossible to do so.

It’s impossible not to love the one you made a covenant before God with and say you “love God.”

It’s impossible to hurt the person you’re closest to and “love” your children without hurting them the same way.

It’s impossible not to love and serve others in your church and community.

There’s nothing Biblical about allowing these behaviors to slide.

Our Slavic Christian values have degraded so much for marriage and family that these wicked behaviors are expected. We turn a blind eye to them without facing consequences, so they continue.

Talk about it before you hurt yourself and your loved ones further.

Forgive yourself and those who have hurt you (or you perceived they have).

Talk about it before the walls and distance get so big between you that you don’t open yourself up in the relationship anymore.

Talk about it before it hurts your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Talk about it before you hurt them the same way.

The only thing you’ll lose in the process of reconciliation and repentance is pride-you’ll gain love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, freedom, etc.

What are you waiting for?

In God’s eyes, spouses who act this way should be held accountable. Their prayers are rejected, and so are their “sacrifices” or good works. God hates a proud heart that puts others down. He hates wickedness and unrepentant sin. All of these things are happening, and nothing is being done, so victims (and children) continue to suffer.

What am I doing about it?

I serve individuals who have been in similar circumstances and am teaching them about their value in Christ. I’m teaching them about boundaries, speaking up for their feelings and needs (instead of being a silent doormat), and how to thrive in who they were created to be instead of continuing to let their spouse put them down.

The result?

Some have had hard conversations with their spouses, and they both got professional help, healed from their pain, and went on to have healthy marriages.

Some have separated because one of them refuses to repent and change, while the other tries diligently.

And some have divorced because they both refuse to acknowledge they have a problem and would rather escape it than fix the roots of the issue.

Dear one, you and your spouse have a choice to make.

If you want your marriage restored, help and hope are available.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I am here to help.

Will you let me?