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  • Dear Slavic Christian mamas

    The joy in my son’s face is a perfect reflection of the joy that is in my heart these days.

    About a month ago, I got hit with a bad case of “Postpartum Depression.” In other words, I took my eyes off the hope, love, truth, forgiveness, righteousness, joy, and peace, that gave up its Life for me on the Cross. I became exposed to the enemy’s lies about myself and the motherhood journey.

    I posted very vulnerable videos sharing my experience of the struggles that no one talks about, but many Slavic Christian women in my community go through alone and in silent resentment.

    That started a journey of asking God, “Is this what motherhood was supposed to be? What are the roots of my pain? How long will I feel this way?”

    I realized that if I allowed the enemy to steal my peace and joy by continuing to believe in the lies he spoke in my mind, I would not only stay stuck in despair, I could hurt myself or my child. This second part is vulnerable to speaking out loud but also a common thought I was told new moms have when struggling.

    It was at this low moment that I cried out to Jesus.

    He took me out of the disgusting pit of self-pity and gave me a new reality.

    I exchanged the lies of the enemy for what He spoke over me in His Word.

    Lies like, “Ilona, you must be a perfect mom or else you’ll traumatize your child” were exchanged for, “I am already perfect in Christ who died for all my sins and past trauma. I am free.”

    “You make too many mistakes and will never be good enough for your son” was replaced with, “I am a daughter of the King and His love makes me enough to love my son as He loved me.”

    “You will never heal from your trauma and will reenact it on your son” was exchanged for, “Whom the son sets free must believe is free indeed.” 

    “You will neglect your son in order to pursue a career as your mom did,” was exchanged for, “My son’s life is a miracle and I will prioritize taking care of him. Loving him and my husband are my greatest ministries before the Lord. To love them is to succeed as a woman.” 

    “You must strive to be good by reading your Bible and praying so God will protect Him. If you miss one day, your son will get hurt and you’ll be blamed” was replaced with, “God’s love for my son is not dependent on my works but on His Righteousness. His love protects us (Psalm 91).“

    I kept repeating these truths until it was the only thing I heard and believed. It didn’t mean that Satan stopped his schemes. It meant that my identity became stronger than my insecurities and fears.

    Dear Mama, satan is out to get you. You must be grounded in your identity in Him