Dear Slavic Christian, I want to be the first to apologize

In my work as a therapist, I am constantly going through growing pains, gaining awareness of what I need to improve on, and confronting my own fears and triggers with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Thus, I want to share a part of that growing journey with you to encourage you to do the same hopefully.

As many of you know, I serve Slavic Christian individuals who share stories of intense pain and loss. Though I’m trained to relieve emotional pain, I find myself trying to fix problems and feel powerless when I am unable to do so.

I notice myself operating from a place of fear (ex: wanting to end generational cycles of abuse that I hear about but realize I’ve placed an impossible yoke on my shoulders to try to do it alone so I feel insecure-an imposter in my inability to do so)

I’ve also become aware of how much I judge my people and slander my community thinking that in doing so, change will come.

Sadly, the result has become hearing from others who are mutually hurt, angry, and want to see change but feel stuck.

I don’t want to be known as the “therapist who smears dirt on the Slavic community,” I want to be known as the “therapist who is vulnerable and is used by the Lord to encourage the Slavic community to seek the Lord by being humble, repentant, loving, and gracious.”

This is where the Cross has brought me: taking off my armor of looking good, sounding good, and faking it all to preserve my image at the expense of dishonoring Him. 

In my vulnerability, I am coming before you and Christ, saying, “Lord, I’m not capable of changing on my own but only you can. Lord, I’m sorry for trying to do your transforming work. Only you can bring healing and revival to my hurting people. Help me understand my part in your plan.”

Dear reader, I pray that you not only forgive me for being a stumbling block but that you can also help me in building up my people by ending the cycle of gossip, judgment, criticism, shaming, blaming, and hurting those around us.

My people came from trauma and may not have even known it until the awareness was cultivated through education and the Holy Spirits' guidance. As a community, change can only come when we unite about wanting change and moving in one direction to achieve it. 

I’m first to admit that I’ve been wrong.

I don’t know all the answers. I’ve given bad answers. I won’t be able to fix you or solve your problems on my own. But I will be here sharing my heart with you honestly, as He is teaching me to. I will trust God to lead me the whole way through your healing journey. 

Hope is here, change and revival are coming. I want to be faithful in the process. Will you join me in doing so as well?