A man who loves his woman...
A woman who’s loved by her man thrives.
He lifts her up.
He carries her emotionally (and physically) when needed.
He listens and validates.
He provides for her every need as he promised to do on the altar when he made a covenant before God, her family, and community, “in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”
He fights for her spiritually.
He trusts her to make the best decisions for their family in his absence and seeks her opinion on decisions as needed.
He supports her at home with chores and the children, instead of kicking up his feet after work or criticizing her in areas where she falls short.
He encourages her to grow professionally and intellectually, just like the husband in Proverbs 31.
Only a man who is secure in his own identity in Christ can support a woman this way.
He isn’t threatened by her strengths, voice, dreams, fears, insecurities, emotional rollercoasters, and potential. He is excited by them. He becomes the rock she needs to be used by the Lord, in and out of the home.
Ladies, is your man like this?
Because of my husband’s inner strength in Christ, I get to thrive.
He’s the one who encouraged me to get my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.
He’s the one who encouraged me to get a therapist to heal from childhood trauma.
He’s the one who listened when I suggested we leave the legalistic church we grew up in and go to an American one that would allow us to blossom spiritually.
He gives me financial freedom without being controlling.
He lets me care for my appearance without preaching how haircuts, going to the gym, and piercing ears are a sin.
He changes our son’s diapers and washes dishes when I ask for help.
The list of blessings I’ve experienced through this man is endless— I wish this were the case for every woman in my community.
I know many have the opposite and are oppressed, degraded, criticized, and limited by their men, who are insecure within themselves.
If only these men received therapeutic support to heal so they can thrive and let their wives do the same….
The multigenerational transformation that would take place in my community would shake the heavens and make heaven crowded.
Instead, the epidemic we have is men who refuse to acknowledge their past pain and gaslight their wives from seeking help. It may be because they are afraid that light will be shone on their shortcomings and they’ll have to face themselves and the problems in the home that they brought in. This is heartbreaking because these men are producing children who will repeat their father’s mistakes if healing doesn’t occur sooner.
Dear reader, today is a great day to break the cycles you don’t want to continue. To achieve the life you crave, you must begin by recognizing your need for support outside of yourself and committing to the process, no matter how long or complex it may become.