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  • A lesson on self-esteem

    We often hear people talking about “self-esteem,” but do you know what they’re actually referring to?

    Self-esteem is defined as an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own self-worth.  

    Let’s break it down and go deeper. What is your overall opinion of yourself? How do you feel about yourself when you are under pressure? When you are around others that are different than you? When you are alone?

    For example, do you tell yourself that you are worthy of love and respect or do you think that everyone else is worthy EXCEPT you?

    If you have low-self esteem, you’ll probably say that you are unworthy of love, respect and anything good. 

    If you have healthy self-esteem, you’ll say that you are worthy of love and are capable of giving love. 

    So take a moment and ask yourself, which category do I find myself in right now?

    It’s normal for you to have highs and lows. There will be seasons of your life where you will think to yourself, “That was a terrible decision, I must be incapable of doing things right.” As a sinner needing a Savior in a sinful world, yes, that is the case. 

    And in other cases, there will be times when you tell yourself, “That was so awesome, I knew I could do it!”

    The question is, which one is your narrative more times than not? This is the part that defines you.

    Do you beat yourself up often and tell yourself that you’re not capable of ever doing anything right? Or do you pick yourself up after falling down and keep moving forward?

    If you are struggling with low self-esteem, become aware of the language that you use to speak to yourself. If up to this point you were negative and self-destructive in your self-perception, CHOOSE to speak life instead. For example, instead of saying, “I can’t…, practice saying, “I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength.” Instead of saying, “I am ugly and no one will love me or want to be with me,” try looking at yourself through the eyes of your Creator and say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.”

    The thing about self-esteem, and every other skill in your mental health healing journey is that it requires constant awareness and practice. You don’t just speak a positive sentence one day and expect the results to last a lifetime, you must speak it over and over throughout the day, every day throughout the month, and let it become a pattern for years. It took years of self-destructive messages to get you here, it will take several months to develop new habits to get you to believe a new truth. 

    As you continue to make this choice to speak and think differently about yourself, your self-esteem will start to grow and change to reflect the person you WANT to be. 

    Try it for 30 days and tell me about the results you being to notice. It has changed my life and I hope it will do the same with yours.