2024 lessons

Today is my 32nd birthday and I reflect on another year of growth.

This past year has been the most challenging since I discovered my value in Christ 3 years ago.

God gave me “holiness” for the Word of the Year and took me on a rollercoaster ride I never anticipated.

Last December I read, “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere, and was confronted with the state of my offended heart.

January and February started with repenting to everyone I held offenses towards.

March through July seemed “a walk in the park” as my identity became more secure in Christ.

Then my world fell apart in August when our church split, and all my insecurities came back.

I became afraid to trust, wounded by the departure of those I was vulnerable with, and bitterness settled in.

I prayed, “God, why? I set myself apart for you as you directed me to in January, but it left me broken.”

Then God spoke through a friend of mine and exposed what was happening.

To summarize it, she said, “God took those people from your life to deliberately break away your dependence on them. The Holy Spirit pursues your heart and doesn’t want you to look to people for acceptance or value. Your voice and your purpose come from God. He makes you who you are, not man.”

This revelation was both relieving because God has been saying the same message within my spirit but also painful because I’ve been a people pleaser for my acceptance my entire life and I couldn’t image not being accepted by humans any longer. 

Ultimately, the confirmation helped me feel solidified in His bigger plan of my acceptance in Him. It doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt on a human level, it simply meant I will surrender to who He says I am instead of chasing the approval of man that I will never receive anyway.

Dear one, don’t be afraid of hurting, even losing those you thought you needed to feel “complete or secure.” God always has a plan amid the chaos, loss, and disappointment. Healing takes time and happens in layers, and your character is going through a refining process that cannot be replaced with another lesson.

His plan is to cleanse us of our self, pride, fears, desire for control, and people pleasing to become the sole object of our worship.

That’s what He taught me: “holiness” means.

It’s not about looking good on the outside or being self-righteous, but about letting Him break away our impurities and use us to expand His Kingdom here on Earth by reflecting our identity to those still searching for theirs in Him.

Are you willing to lay on His operating table in 2025 and let Him remove everything in your life that doesn’t please Him to become more obedient to His will?

As painful and exposing as it will be again, I am. There’s nothing more fulfilling in this life than knowing that the King of the universe loves me this much.